Dotty Armstrong
Nobody Told Me About This Part of Aging
When a young, slim woman
slides into a chair
the fragrance of grace
is strong. Everyone
in the room is reminded
of the harmony that exists
right under their noses.
She does not need
to be pretty. She
only needs to carry
the naturally dancerly movements
of youth with her. And when she gets up
her strong legs will manage the whole
operation, no arms needed
to help her rise.
Not so, for this old lady. This “sitting”
is more of a project. First, slyly
spot a chair, not too deep
(you do not want to have to be rescued).
Take small steps toward the chair.
Watch for the edges of the carpet.
Turn yourself around.
Get ready for the tricky part.
Gather strength in your legs
slowly lower your bum.
Don’t plunk!
Sounds like “ooof” and “aaah”
are best kept to oneself.
When it is time to go
you may need to push yourself up,
hands on arms of the chair.
Try not to fart.
Leon Petty
Earwig
I am sitting on the pot
and there’s this motionless earwig
lying like a cross
with its antenna straight out
and it looks like it’s dead
but there’s no telling with earwigs
so I reach down and kick it
with my index finger
and it kinda revives
but I can see it feels terrible
but though it feels terrible
it sticks up its pincers
like it’s fending off something
and I find this as funny
cause I’ve been to the point
when I felt so sick
that I didn’t have enemies
only horrible friends
but I’ve had to feel good
to have any enemies
so I grouse to think
of this earwig in enmity
with bird beaks and leggy spiders